News from the Pews, September, 2022

ASTORIA CK:  SEPT. 3

After some conversation about such things as the local Food Web, spouse needs, cormorants, pelicans, and PUUF generally, we talked about the nature of trauma, how it affects us personally and also in our relationships.  Some of the topics broached were the anxiety trauma can produce, the difficulty of controlling the experience, the ways our lives and our life paths change because of it.  For some, the effects of the trauma feel never-ending, as in childhood or family situations.  Some mentioned a loss of friends, the grief of losing important people in their lives and the circumstances under which those losses occurred.  Little things may trigger a memory of a painful experience.  Trump’s presidency was traumatic on many levels, with the advent of conspiracy theories and false information that disrupted friendships and families and his toxic effect on the political scene continues to hold sway.

All in all, the discussion felt pretty intense, and we will institute a norm of confidentiality, to help people feel safe.  In addition, persons with difficult emotional pain will be encouraged to share that with Kit privately rather than in the more public setting of the coffee klatch.

PENINSULA COFFEE KLATCH, SEPT. 10

Because of the upcoming Sept. 11, 2001 anniversary, our conversation revolved around recent events in our group; one family had been so close to the Seaview house fire that their own dwelling had to be hosed down to keep it from catching fire.  Pretty scary, as one member of the family was bed-ridden and unable to walk because of recent injury.  If we can be helpful, we would like to be and will know more in a day or so.  (Turns out that the family member has been hospitalized for now in a rehab facility. More later.)

We laid down some norms:  these conversations are considered to be confidential, so please respect others’ privacy.  The Astoria group got pretty intense and it can be hard to listen to the traumas that others have experienced.  If anything causes triggering, please talk to Kit privately.  If you have a situation you feel is too hard and painful to share in the group, please talk to Kit.  We will understand if you aren’t ready to share.

TILLAMOOK COUNTY:  SEPT 17

This small group was missing one of our regulars, so we were down to two hardy souls on one woman’s deck.  This group has been following the same structure of other CKs, in sorting out the various traumas, with the perspective of folks unable to attend a service in Astoria.  One of the things we spent some time on was the  hymn “Amazing Grace”, which we had sung at the Sept. 11 service a week earlier.  It had had a powerful effect on one person, who remarked with tears in her eyes that “Grace, that unearned expression of love and care for another human who was struggling” had been her salvation in a time of trauma.

SOUTH COUNTY, SEPT. 25

Another intense session of stories of traumatic situations:  a plane crash, another person who had experienced the loss of a friend, the critical words of an acquaintance who criticized the conduct of two helpers, the difficulty of living in a place where one felt uncomfortable with the community, and the long-standing effects of childhood trauma.  And a discussion of Grace.